In The End, The Quietly Determined Wins

In her book: “Quiet”, Susan Cain wrote about the story of Rosa Park. A civil right activist who refused to give up her bus seat to a white man. It was inspiring how she carried herself in that moment.  Forced to move at the back of the bus, she remained still on her seat. She did not yell. She did not fight back. She did not do anything remotely aggressive. All she did was sit there with her quiet determination to end the injustices she was experiencing along with other black people. This very simple act triggered a national protest that soon turned into a civil rights movement. Rosa Park was the great example of a person who could change the world quietly.

The first time I have heard of the words “quietly determined”, I know in that moment that these words define every molecule of my body. So much so that I would love for them to be etched in my tombstones. Here lies a quietly determined person. I guess even when I am long gone, I am still aiming to be aspirational. At first glance, combining “quiet” and “determined” sounds contradictory. After all, how can someone who is shy be also tenacious? It seems like a hard concept to imagine. Yet a lot of things in life are complex. There are some that you do not expect. Some that shock you. Like the introverted person who likes to be outdoors. Or a prominent lawyer who is dyslexic. Or the person you never ever expect to win but quietly takes the prize in the end.

Society has always celebrated people who have gifts of gab. It is true that it is impressive to see them work every room they enter. Their very magic is to capture everyone’s attention through their personable presence. When you are the kind of person who can communicate what you want and need without much effort, you are most likely to get promoted in an organization. We soften towards a charismatic person. They attract us like fireflies in the middle of the night. We love their easy confidence. We admire the way they talk. And subconsciously, we consider them as the type of humans who are likely to succeed in life. But is not this a dangerous way of visualizing triumph? Why do we mostly consider personality as a tool for attaining success? Is not more accurate to gauge capability based on what one can produce solely?

Whenever we watch reality TV shows, we mostly root for the one who shows obvious strength. In our heads, we crown them as winners. We carefully look for signs to confirm that we are right by focusing only on what is good about them. So, once they lose, not only we get disappointed, we also have the tendency to think that the game is rigged. The most frustrating thing that can happen to a human is when the picture in their head does not align with reality. It pains them to know that they are wrong. But life is a series of unpredictable circumstances. Not all roads beautifully paved succeed. Some people lose last minute. Some of them are not built to persevere, hence they drop out. Just because someone appears great in the beginning does not mean they are going to remain great until the very end.

There is a misguided belief that the quiet people are difficult to be trusted because it is hard to read them. This is quite an absurd thought. People who are loud and showy can as easily become suspicious as the quiet and shy ones. I think the primary reasons why the geography of introverts gets a bad reputation is because people freak out when they cannot tell what the other person is up to. It unnerves them. It makes them feel uncomfortable. Because anything that cannot be read is a threat. Humans generally like certainties and the quite ones do not easily give that sense of feeling to them.

In the end, the person that brings the most value is the doer than the talker. Talk is easy. Often, it is cheap. It requires almost no effort to speak. But to act? To do something you say you will do? That demands strength. It asks for your time and energy. Which is why it makes sense for the quiet doers to achieve meaningful success in this world. They can disappear in the background while working on their goals. You will never see them tweeting about their book project. You will not see them flaunting their progress. Because what they care about, ultimately, is the results. The finish product. The realized version of their vision. Before they can even open their mouths, they are already showing you what they are capable of producing.

Growing up, I have been convinced that for you to be heard, you must speak ferociously. In order to be seen, you must stand tall – correct your posture, wear something loud and glittery. Standing out is a necessity. If you are anything but outgoing, you will be overlooked. It has taken me most of my 20s to learn that this is not the way to achieve what you are set out to do. For some people, being showy and talkative may work. But for some, those exact traits may result to unfulfilled goals. At age 23, I have gained the valuable skill of putting my head down, disappearing for a while, and doing the actual work. From there, I have managed to achieve impressive milestones. Such as writing hundreds of articles, publishing a book, and securing an accounting job that pays nicely. My life has improved through my quiet devotion to my crafts and skill-improvements.

The idea that a quietly determined person can win is a hard sell. Being shy does not make one appear strong. The not-so outspoken people are not always trusted to go big. But a lot of elements in this world are not binary. So are the people living in it. Gregarious does not automatically mean good and reserve does not automatically mean bad. Someone can be successful regardless of their temperament – whether they are introverted, extroverted, or somewhere in between. It is impractical – if not dangerous – to discount a person just because their facade does not resemble that of a lion. The quietly determined people are usually underestimated, but they fly under the radar. They work very hard behind the scene. They wait for their right time. And just when you do not expect it, out of nowhere, they end up winning the crown.