Learning To Let It All Just Be

As humans, we desire for control – of our lives, our environments, our destinies. Having the world in the palm of our hands somewhat gives us a sense of stability, a peace of mind. We are happier when we have power over what we do for a living, how we make money, and how we do our work. We feel like we are on cloud nine when things go our way. The magic that control provides us can be intoxicating. So much so that people go out of their ways just to achieve it. But I would like to believe that control is nothing but an illusion. Ultimately, we all know that life is chaotic. Its uncertainties freak us out. The absolute mystery of it drives us to seek clarity using crystal balls and tarot cards. Yet, this universe is huge and unpredictable. And it is pointless to try to make it work in our favor. So maybe, in the end, the only thing we can really do is live… and let the thought of control go.

One great example of a place where power and control can corrupt people is the workplace. Almost every organization in the world has office politics inside it. Unfortunately, just like cancer, it has no cure. And it does not seem like it will ever go away. Ray Dalio mentions on his book that there are usually two jobs that people do inside a company. One is to do their actual work. The other is to manage the perception of people around them about how they are doing their jobs. It is insane how human beings are so willing to expend so much of their energies just to appear a certain way. But for what exact reason? To be liked and be popular? To earn respect and be promoted? Or to have both in order to gain control of the system? Working in corporate for a few years has allowed me to witness the insidious ways people are willing to go through for them to have a bitter taste of power. I wonder if those acts are the kind of memories they want to remember when they are on their deathbeds. I think that there is more to life than desperately seeking to be above someone.

In my early twenties, I have already accepted the fleetingness of the human body. The fragility of it. The unknowable time when it will expire. It is equally sad and courageous to fully internalize that we are all going to die. I respect that reflecting about mortality is not for everyone. Yet the early Stoics kept repeating the importance of embracing the unpredictability of death. I’m mentioning this because I believe that life is too short to waste it on the endless pursuit of control and power. I hope that the politicians, religious figures, corporate leaders, and strict family members recognize this. That we are literally going to die someday and that all the power tripping and power grabbing will not matter.

As someone who is obsessed in getting all the aspects of my life in order, I understand the appeal of being in charge of our tiny worlds. I like to know how the day will unfold. I plan almost everything down to the details all in the name of feeling secured. The goal is to have zero worry so I can focus on carrying out my goals. If I could have a say on how the weather would pan out, I would one thousand percent include it in my plans. My habit of trying to take control of my life stems from my discomfort with knowing that I am powerless on what is happening outside my comfort zone. Experience has taught me that though I have an influence on what goes in my world, embracing the uncertainties out there is also beautiful.

It is beautiful to not know exactly what will happen in the future. Because in doing so, it will not discourage us to get up in the morning with fire in our hearts. It will not give us the impression that life is dull, gray, and boring. The thought of the unknown hangs us suspended in the air, guessing and wondering. It makes us excited for what is to come, giving us both hope and dread about tomorrow.

I believe the key to achieving pure happiness can be found in the art of letting go. We must set free whatever it is that we are trying to hold firmly. We must allow ourselves to breathe… and just be. Trusting the unknown is difficult – if not impossible. But that is where the beauty of life comes in. When we become comfortable with the ‘not knowing’, what else is there to fear? For us to be courageous, we have to be vulnerable first. And vulnerability can be achieved through flushing our desires for control down the sink. We have to trust all that we cannot see. We need to have faith that it will all work out just fine in the end.

If we set aside the past and not think too much about the future, there is a big chance that we can find joy right in front of us. Yes, it is important to ruminate on our histories and prepare for tomorrow. These mental activities help us pave a better path for success. However, once they become too time-consuming, when they rob us of the opportunity to be here, they no longer serve a useful purpose. The magic that we get whenever we see a person smile, and to hear them laugh is priceless. The moments we remember the most are the ones in which we are more present in them. Like the first kiss, the sun setting behind the ocean, the signing of an important contract, the financial success, the plane ride, the ordinary Sunday morning. These are the reels in our lives that are going to play back in our memories endlessly. They are going to stick to our brains because in those times, when the world seems to slow down, we are free from regrets and worries.

Learning to just be is not an adorable mantra you display on the wall. Nor it is a default piece of advice you give to a distressed friend. Learning to just be is a practice. It is a daily commitment worth embedding into the fabric of our lives. In an unpredictable universe where we can literally lose everything in a bat of an eye, letting go is our only armor. It is true that giving it all to fate is an act of strength. Because, deep down, you know that no matter what transpires, you are resilient enough to face it. You have the tenacity to start all over again from scratch. And despite the uncertainties, you believe in your capacity to scrape by and reach the top of the mountain again.

Sometimes learning to just be means showing up without a solid, concrete plan. It is clearing your thoughts and trying not thinking just to avoid overthinking. Sometimes it is allowing a song to creep into your skin and lose yourself in the rhythm. It is forgetting all your fears and remembering what it is like to actually live. Learning to just be may not be an essential element for survival, but it does improve the quality of our lives. It makes us feel light, less worrisome, more trusting. Once we stray away from the allure of control, the world opens up to us more in ways we don’t expect.

Most of us believe that the only road to peace of mind is through ensuring that things fall according to our plans. But I believe there is an alternative way of obtaining it. There is a right framing of mind for us to be in a constant state of Zen. When we train ourselves to become comfortable with what we do not know, we suddenly feel more free, more focused, more well-balanced. Life is not about trying to know everything. The reality is, we can only do so much. We can only achieve a certain level of success and happiness. And that is perfectly alright. Because, perhaps, life is not entirely about pursuing bigger, better goals. But more so about living in the now.

Driving down the paved road of my city, I stare at the towering skyscrapers. They stand motionless against the glittering sun. It is a miracle how the combination of objects and mother nature can make someone feel a certain type of way. I guess my city view is something I will never ever get used to. As I speed down the hill, vehicles passing by me, for a moment I fear I may topple over and injure myself. But as I look up at the afternoon sky above, I am reminded once again that the only thing I can do is let go. I am reminded that fear is transient. Its very existence only resides in my brain. So, without a doubt, without any hint of worry, I finally allow myself to let loose, to enjoy the warm breeze of air, and to literally, beautifully just be.